so much to do and so little time

"So much to do and so little time", Churchill told secretary when he told him he had drunk half a traincar of liquor. We must all feel that way for sure.

Once again I want to start a new version of the book, probably my tenth version, listing all the anecdotes I can think and interlace them with current comments. there are the stories I tell whenever I get into the past stories during my talks to schools or in private. I don't know why some people knock out books like sausages, as Joyce Carol Oates does with great success. She says she does not know what a writer's block is. Some writer have one book in them, and that's it. Catcher in the Rye, Catch 22, Invisible Man and so on. I believe I have one book in me. I have tried several version, all of them I keep but give up on. Some sections I will keep for sure, because they work and friends who have read the mss still remember those passages. I like what Nick Flynn did with his books. Short chapters, almost poetic. And he tells his story, but touches on universal themes, homelessness and alcohol addiction. It certainly is not hopeless since he did well and recovered enough to be able to put it all down in a wonderful manner. So much to do and so little time.

the end lane....going fast

My brother's wife fell on her head and when the ambulance came took both my brother and her to the hospital...there after a blood transfusion, she died a week later. My brother is now living in a long term facility and I think glad about it. he lived alone for about 1 year and half with not much help. he will need the help he needs now...I will go see him thanksgiving week, which is in about a week from now.
Mostly, it is a shock to me, and the reality of mortal life, that it is just a question of time when we all have to go into the void.
Even giants like John Updike had to die, when he still had so much more to do.
I have a lot to do. I try to do this...right now making another film to make sense of the war years. I know it can't be done, but asking questions does not hurt.
I will go back to my film to make a shorter version, cut out long scenes that are meaningless to most, and add more comments.
I applied for a grant to get a real good camera and I will go back and do more filming, carefully this time around. I like what I did before. But I want to do better, wait for better light, go slow with some takes, use a tripod, a good mike etc...and mainly a good camera.