the end lane....going fast

My brother's wife fell on her head and when the ambulance came took both my brother and her to the hospital...there after a blood transfusion, she died a week later. My brother is now living in a long term facility and I think glad about it. he lived alone for about 1 year and half with not much help. he will need the help he needs now...I will go see him thanksgiving week, which is in about a week from now.
Mostly, it is a shock to me, and the reality of mortal life, that it is just a question of time when we all have to go into the void.
Even giants like John Updike had to die, when he still had so much more to do.
I have a lot to do. I try to do this...right now making another film to make sense of the war years. I know it can't be done, but asking questions does not hurt.
I will go back to my film to make a shorter version, cut out long scenes that are meaningless to most, and add more comments.
I applied for a grant to get a real good camera and I will go back and do more filming, carefully this time around. I like what I did before. But I want to do better, wait for better light, go slow with some takes, use a tripod, a good mike etc...and mainly a good camera.